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Marriage Proverbs

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. ~ François VI de la Rochefoucault

Marriage is a lottery in which men stake their liberty and women their happiness. ~ Virginie des Rieux

A perfect marriage is one in which “I’m sorry” is said just often enough. ~ Mignon McLaughlin

One should never know too precisely whom one has married. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Marriage, n. A community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all two. ~ Ambrose Bierce

There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage. ~ Martin Luther

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building.~ Oscar Wilde Quotes

I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late. ~ Max Kauffman

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them. ~ Ogden Nash

Marriage is a bribe to make the housekeeper think she’s a householder. ~ Thornton Wilder

Marriage is three parts love and seven parts forgiveness of sins. ~ Langdon Mitchell

Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other’s character before marriage, which is never advisable. ~ Oscar Wilde

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man’s habits and then complain that he’s not the man she married? ~ Barbra Streisand

Almost no one is foolish enough to imagine that he automatically deserves great success in any field of activity; yet almost everyone believes that he automatically deserves success in marriage. ~ Sydney J. Harris

A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished. ~ Zsa Zsa Gabor

God created sex. Priests created marriage. ~ Voltaire Quotes

You can never be happily married to another until you get a divorce from yourself. Successful marriage demands a certain death to self. ~ Jerry McCant

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit. ~ Billy Connolly

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced “mirage.” ~ Herbert Spencer

Is not marriage an open question, when it is alleged, from the beginning of the world, that such as are in the institution wish to get out, and such as are out wish to get in? ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes

Originally marriage meant the sale of a woman by one man to another; now most women sell themselves though they have no intention of delivering the goods listed in the bill of sale. ~ Robert Graves

I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives as much as if we had never married at all.~ Lord Byron

Married life teaches one invaluable lesson: to think of things far enough ahead not to say them. ~ Jefferson Machamer

Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences. ~ Isadora Duncan

It is not marriage that fails; it is people that fail. All that marriage does is to show people up. ~ Harry Emerson Fosdick

Women hope men will change after marriage but they don’t; men hope women won’t change but they do. ~ Bettina Arndt

Marriage, a market which has nothing free but the entrance. ~ Michel de Montaigne

Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance. ~ Jane Austen

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. ~ Henny Youngman

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war. ~ Gilbert K. Chesterton

When a woman marries again it is because she detested her first husband. When a man marries again it is because he adored his first wife. Women try their luck; men risk theirs. ~ Oscar Wilde

As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take which course he will, he will be sure to repent. ~ Socrates Quotes

It takes a loose rein to keep a marriage tight. ~ John Stevenson

Marriage is the death of hope. ~ Woody Allen

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. ~ Anne Taylor Fleming

It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. ~ Robert Frost

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can’t sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can’t sleep with the window open. ~ George Bernard Shaw

Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him. ~ Marilyn Monroe

A princely marriage is the brilliant edition of a universal fact, and, as such, it rivets mankind. ~ Walter Bagehot

Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up. ~ Joseph Barth

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. ~ Samuel Lichtenberg

The highest happiness on earth is marriage. ~ William Lyon Phelps

I have always considered marriage as the most interesting event of one’s life, the foundation of happiness or misery. ~ George Washington Quotes

The problem with marriage is that it ends every night after making love, and it must be rebuilt every morning before breakfast. ~ Gabriel García Márquez

The chief reason why marriage is rarely a success is that it is contracted while the partners are insane. ~ Joseph Collins

The real act of marriage takes place in the heart, not in the ballroom or church or synagogue. .~ Barbara De Angelis

Marriage: that I call the will of two to create the one who is more than those who created it. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse. ~ Doug Larson

Marriage is a mistake every man should make. ~ George Jessel

Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage. ~ Ambrose Bierce

Many marriages are simply working partnerships between businessmen and housekeepers. ~ Mignon McLaughlin

I guess walking slow getting married is because it gives you time to maybe change your mind. ~ Virginia Cary Hudson

Love and marriage, love and marriage go together like a horse and carriage. Dad was told by mother. You can’t have one without the other. ~ Sammy Cahn

Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate. ~ Barnett R. Brickner

Marriage is not a word — it is a sentence. ~ Author Unknown

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. ~ Lewis Grizzard

After a few years of marriage, a man can look right at a woman without seeing her — and a woman can see right through a man without looking at him. ~ Helen Rowland

Marriage is that relation between man and woman in which the independence is equal, the dependence mutual, and the obligation reciprocal. ~ Louis K. Anspacher

Marriage is a meal where the soup is better than the dessert. ~ Austin O’Malley

What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility. ~ George Levinger

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. ~ Rita Rudner

Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution. ~ Mae West

Like good wine, marriage gets better with age — once you learn to keep a cork in it. ~ Gene Perret

Men should keep their eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards. ~ Madeleine de Scudery

Some marriages break up, and some do not, and in our world you can usually explain the former better than the latter. ~ Mignon McLaughlin

A first-rate marriage is like a first-rate hotel: expensive, but worth it. ~ Mignon McLaughlin

Love requires a willingness to die; marriage, a willingness to live. ~ Mignon McLaughlin

The value of marriage is not that adults produce children, but that children produce adults. ~ Peter De Vries

People do not marry people, not real ones anyway; they marry what they think the person is; they marry illusions and images. The exciting adventure of marriage is finding out who the partner really is. ~ James L. Framo

Our marriage has always been a 50-50 proposition — with the possible exception of closet space. ~ Gene Perret

Though marriage makes man and wife one flesh, it leaves ’em still two fools. ~ William Congreve

Marriage ceremony: an incredible metaphysical sham of watching God and the law being dragged into the affairs of your family. ~ O.C. Ogilvie

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. ~ Helen Rowland

Politics doesn’t make strange bedfellows — marriage does. ~ Groucho Marx

Marriage is a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters in prose. ~ Beverley Nichols

A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short. ~ Andre Maurois

Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get. It’s something you do. It’s the way you love your partner every day. ~ Barbara De Angelis

Marriage is like pleading guilty to an indefinite sentence. Without parole. ~ John Mortimer

The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character. ~ Peter De Vries

The marriage state, with or without the affection suitable to it, is the completest image of Heaven and Hell we are capable of receiving in this life. ~ Richard Steele

Marriage must constantly fight against a monster which devours everything: routine. ~ Honoré de Balzac

No man expects a great deal from marriage. He is quite satisfied if his wife is a good cook, a good valet, an attentive audience, and a patient nurse. ~ Author Unknown

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, and you lose interest. ~ Irwin Cory

The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. ~ Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity. ~ Author unknown

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. ~ Robert Anderson

Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. ~ Simone Signoret

Marriage is a ghastly public confession of a strictly private intention. ~ Ian Hay

Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock. ~ Author Unknown

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked. ~ Bill Cosby

I’d marry again if I found a man who had fifteen million dollars and would sign over half of it to me before the marriage, and guarantee he’d be dead within the year. ~ Bette Davis

The sum which two married people owe to one another defies calculation. It is an infinite debt, which can only be discharged through eternity. ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Qoutes

Marriage is more than four bare legs in a bed. ~ Hoshang N. Akhtar

What we love about love is the fever, which marriage puts to bed and cures. ~ Mignon McLaughlin

Often the difference between a successful marriage and a mediocre one consists of leaving about three or four things a day unsaid. ~ Harlan Miller

A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers. ~ Ruth Bell Graham

I’ve sometimes thought of marrying, and then I’ve thought again. ~ Noel Coward

Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner. ~ Charles Caleb Colton

The music at a marriage procession always reminds me of the music of soldiers entering on a battle. ~ Heinrich Heine

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. ~ Mignon McLaughlin

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can’t help but smile on it. ~ Josh Billings

One of the best things about marriage is that it gets young people to bed at a decent hour. ~ M.M. Musselman

Marriage: A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other for ninety-nine years, or until death do them join. ~ Elbert Hubbard

Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up. ~ Evelyn Hendrickson

If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books. ~ Alan King

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. ~ Groucho Marx

Of all actions of a man’s life, his marriage does least concern other people, yet of all actions of our life ‘Tis most meddled with by other people. ~ John Selden


Sayings about Marriage

Happy the marriage where the husband is the head and the wife the heart. ~ Estonian Proverb

Marriages are all happy. It’s having breakfast together that causes all the trouble. ~Irish Proverbs

Marriage teaches you to live alone. ~ French Proverb

Marriage is not a tight knot, but a slip knot. ~ Malagasy Proverb

Many a good hanging prevents a bad marriage. ~ American Proverb

Marriage is a sack full of ninety-nine snakes and one eel. ~ Spanish Proverb

A second marriage is like a warmed-up meal. ~ Romanian Proverb

Better a good hanging than a bad marriage. ~ German Proverb

Marriage is a covered dish. ~ Swiss Proverb

Men have thought about their marriage a whole year long — and it lasts but one night. ~ Moorish Proverb

If a young woman says no to marriage just wait until her breasts sag. ~ Burundi Proverb

When you are talking about marriage, think about your mother. ~ Spanish Proverb

Marriage is a little bit like buying melons, you need a little luck. ~ Spanish Proverb

If the bread in the oven is a failure you lose a week; if the harvest is a failure you lose a year; if marriage is a failure then you lose a life.~ Estonian Proverb

The first marriage is a plate of honey, the second a glass of wine, and the third is a cup of poison. ~ Serbian Proverb

A marriage in later years sends a letter to the grave digger. ~ German Proverb

Love is a flower which turns into fruit at marriage. ~ Finnish Proverb

Like my vodka, my marriage is on the rocks. ~ Craig D. Slovak

Marriage is the opposite to a fever attack; it begins very hot and ends very cold. ~ German Proverbs

Marriage is a snake to slip into your handbag. ~ African Proverb

Marriage is the sunset of love. ~ French Proverb

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. ~ Mexican Proverb

Marriage is not just a porridge that you spit out if it’s too hot. ~ Filipino Proverb

Love is a garden full of flowers and marriage is a field of stinging nettles. ~ Finnish Proverbs

“Now the marriage begins,” says the woman who has been beaten with thorns. ~ Nigerian Proverb

Love has its own language, but marriage falls back on the local dialect. ~ Russian Proverb

To have beautiful servant girls is a threat to good marriages. ~ Chinese Proverb

Age and marriage tame the beast. ~ Haitian Proverb

No marriage contract is made without a quarrel. ~ Hebrew Proverb

Marriages are not as they are made, but as they turn out. ~ Italian Proverb

Marriage is like a besieged fortress: those who are outside want to come in, and those already in want to be out. ~ Arabian Proverb

In business partnerships and marriage partnerships, oh, the cheating that goes on. ~ American Proverbs

Marriage has teeth and it bites hard. ~ Jamaican Proverb

Love does wonders, but money makes marriages. ~ French Proverb

Love is a sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock. ~ Jewish Proverb

Marriage has teeth and it bites hard. ~ Jamaican Proverb

Marriage is like a groundnut: you have to crack them to see what is inside. ~ Ghanaian Proverb

Pleasure for one hour, a bottle of wine. Pleasure for one year a marriage; but pleasure for a lifetime, a garden. ~ Chinese Proverb

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. ~ English Proverbs

Marriages sealed with rings end with drawn knives. ~ French Proverb

A woman who has not been twice married cannot know what a perfect marriage is. ~ Nigerian Proverbs

“What is marriage, mother?” “Child, it is spinning, having children, making money, and weeping. ~ Portuguese Proverbs

Marriage is a covered dish. ~ Swiss Proverbs

Marriages are not as they are made, but as they turn out. ~ Italian Proverbs

Marriages sealed with rings end with drawn knives. ~ French Proverb

Marriage teaches you to live alone. ~ French Proverb

Love is often the fruit of marriage. ~ French Proverb

Marriage is the sunset of love. ~ French Proverb

Not all who make love make marriages. ~ Russian Proverbs

Quotations about Marriage

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. ~ François VI de la Rochefoucault

Marriage is a lottery in which men stake their liberty and women their happiness. ~ Virginie des Rieux

A perfect marriage is one in which “I’m sorry” is said just often enough. ~ Mignon McLaughlin

One should never know too precisely whom one has married. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Marriage, n. A community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all two. ~ Ambrose Bierce

There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage. ~ Martin Luther

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building.~ Oscar Wilde Quotes

I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late. ~ Max Kauffman

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them. ~ Ogden Nash

Marriage is a bribe to make the housekeeper think she’s a householder. ~ Thornton Wilder

Marriage is three parts love and seven parts forgiveness of sins. ~ Langdon Mitchell

Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other’s character before marriage, which is never advisable. ~ Oscar Wilde

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man’s habits and then complain that he’s not the man she married? ~ Barbra Streisand

Almost no one is foolish enough to imagine that he automatically deserves great success in any field of activity; yet almost everyone believes that he automatically deserves success in marriage. ~ Sydney J. Harris

A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished. ~ Zsa Zsa Gabor

God created sex. Priests created marriage. ~ Voltaire Quotes

You can never be happily married to another until you get a divorce from yourself. Successful marriage demands a certain death to self. ~ Jerry McCant

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit. ~ Billy Connolly

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced “mirage.” ~ Herbert Spencer

Is not marriage an open question, when it is alleged, from the beginning of the world, that such as are in the institution wish to get out, and such as are out wish to get in? ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes

Originally marriage meant the sale of a woman by one man to another; now most women sell themselves though they have no intention of delivering the goods listed in the bill of sale. ~ Robert Graves

I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives as much as if we had never married at all.~ Lord Byron

Married life teaches one invaluable lesson: to think of things far enough ahead not to say them. ~ Jefferson Machamer

Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences. ~ Isadora Duncan

It is not marriage that fails; it is people that fail. All that marriage does is to show people up. ~ Harry Emerson Fosdick

Women hope men will change after marriage but they don’t; men hope women won’t change but they do. ~ Bettina Arndt

Marriage, a market which has nothing free but the entrance. ~ Michel de Montaigne

Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance. ~ Jane Austen

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. ~ Henny Youngman

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war. ~ Gilbert K. Chesterton

When a woman marries again it is because she detested her first husband. When a man marries again it is because he adored his first wife. Women try their luck; men risk theirs. ~ Oscar Wilde

As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take which course he will, he will be sure to repent. ~ Socrates Quotes

It takes a loose rein to keep a marriage tight. ~ John Stevenson

Marriage is the death of hope. ~ Woody Allen

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. ~ Anne Taylor Fleming

It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. ~ Robert Frost

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can’t sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can’t sleep with the window open. ~ George Bernard Shaw

Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him. ~ Marilyn Monroe

A princely marriage is the brilliant edition of a universal fact, and, as such, it rivets mankind. ~ Walter Bagehot

Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up. ~ Joseph Barth

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. ~ Samuel Lichtenberg

The highest happiness on earth is marriage. ~ William Lyon Phelps

I have always considered marriage as the most interesting event of one’s life, the foundation of happiness or misery. ~ George Washington Quotes

The problem with marriage is that it ends every night after making love, and it must be rebuilt every morning before breakfast. ~ Gabriel García Márquez

The chief reason why marriage is rarely a success is that it is contracted while the partners are insane. ~ Joseph Collins

The real act of marriage takes place in the heart, not in the ballroom or church or synagogue. .~ Barbara De Angelis

Marriage: that I call the will of two to create the one who is more than those who created it. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse. ~ Doug Larson

Marriage is a mistake every man should make. ~ George Jessel

Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage. ~ Ambrose Bierce

Many marriages are simply working partnerships between businessmen and housekeepers. ~ Mignon McLaughlin

I guess walking slow getting married is because it gives you time to maybe change your mind. ~ Virginia Cary Hudson

Love and marriage, love and marriage go together like a horse and carriage. Dad was told by mother. You can’t have one without the other. ~ Sammy Cahn

Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate. ~ Barnett R. Brickner

Marriage is not a word — it is a sentence. ~ Author Unknown

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. ~ Lewis Grizzard

After a few years of marriage, a man can look right at a woman without seeing her — and a woman can see right through a man without looking at him. ~ Helen Rowland

Marriage is that relation between man and woman in which the independence is equal, the dependence mutual, and the obligation reciprocal. ~ Louis K. Anspacher

Marriage is a meal where the soup is better than the dessert. ~ Austin O’Malley

What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility. ~ George Levinger

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. ~ Rita Rudner

Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution. ~ Mae West

Like good wine, marriage gets better with age — once you learn to keep a cork in it. ~ Gene Perret

Men should keep their eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards. ~ Madeleine de Scudery

Some marriages break up, and some do not, and in our world you can usually explain the former better than the latter. ~ Mignon McLaughlin

A first-rate marriage is like a first-rate hotel: expensive, but worth it. ~ Mignon McLaughlin

Love requires a willingness to die; marriage, a willingness to live. ~ Mignon McLaughlin

The value of marriage is not that adults produce children, but that children produce adults. ~ Peter De Vries

People do not marry people, not real ones anyway; they marry what they think the person is; they marry illusions and images. The exciting adventure of marriage is finding out who the partner really is. ~ James L. Framo

Our marriage has always been a 50-50 proposition — with the possible exception of closet space. ~ Gene Perret

Though marriage makes man and wife one flesh, it leaves ’em still two fools. ~ William Congreve

Marriage ceremony: an incredible metaphysical sham of watching God and the law being dragged into the affairs of your family. ~ O.C. Ogilvie

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. ~ Helen Rowland

Politics doesn’t make strange bedfellows — marriage does. ~ Groucho Marx

Marriage is a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters in prose. ~ Beverley Nichols

A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short. ~ Andre Maurois

Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get. It’s something you do. It’s the way you love your partner every day. ~ Barbara De Angelis

Marriage is like pleading guilty to an indefinite sentence. Without parole. ~ John Mortimer

The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character. ~ Peter De Vries

The marriage state, with or without the affection suitable to it, is the completest image of Heaven and Hell we are capable of receiving in this life. ~ Richard Steele

Marriage must constantly fight against a monster which devours everything: routine. ~ Honoré de Balzac

No man expects a great deal from marriage. He is quite satisfied if his wife is a good cook, a good valet, an attentive audience, and a patient nurse. ~ Author Unknown

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, and you lose interest. ~ Irwin Cory

The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. ~ Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity. ~ Author unknown

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. ~ Robert Anderson

Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. ~ Simone Signoret

Marriage is a ghastly public confession of a strictly private intention. ~ Ian Hay

Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock. ~ Author Unknown

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked. ~ Bill Cosby

I’d marry again if I found a man who had fifteen million dollars and would sign over half of it to me before the marriage, and guarantee he’d be dead within the year. ~ Bette Davis

The sum which two married people owe to one another defies calculation. It is an infinite debt, which can only be discharged through eternity. ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Qoutes

Marriage is more than four bare legs in a bed. ~ Hoshang N. Akhtar

What we love about love is the fever, which marriage puts to bed and cures. ~ Mignon McLaughlin

Often the difference between a successful marriage and a mediocre one consists of leaving about three or four things a day unsaid. ~ Harlan Miller

A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers. ~ Ruth Bell Graham

I’ve sometimes thought of marrying, and then I’ve thought again. ~ Noel Coward

Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner. ~ Charles Caleb Colton

The music at a marriage procession always reminds me of the music of soldiers entering on a battle. ~ Heinrich Heine

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. ~ Mignon McLaughlin

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can’t help but smile on it. ~ Josh Billings

One of the best things about marriage is that it gets young people to bed at a decent hour. ~ M.M. Musselman

Marriage: A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other for ninety-nine years, or until death do them join. ~ Elbert Hubbard

Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up. ~ Evelyn Hendrickson

If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books. ~ Alan King

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. ~ Groucho Marx

Of all actions of a man’s life, his marriage does least concern other people, yet of all actions of our life ‘Tis most meddled with by other people. ~ John Selden

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