“It takes two to tango” is the proverb that spreads the blame — a reminder that some situations need two willing participants, and both share responsibility. Here is what it means, its surprisingly recent origin, how to use it, and a few sayings in the same vein.
What Does “It Takes Two to Tango” Mean?
The proverb means that certain things cannot happen with only one person — and that when they do happen, both parties are responsible. Just as the tango is a dance that needs two partners, an argument, an affair or a deal requires two willing participants. It is most often used to push back when someone tries to blame a conflict entirely on the other side: if there’s a quarrel, the saying suggests, both had a hand in it.
Origin of the Proverb
Unlike most proverbs, this one has a precise birthday. It comes from the 1952 song “Takes Two to Tango,” written by Al Hoffman and Dick Manning and made a hit by the singer Pearl Bailey that same year. The lyric pointed out that there are plenty of things you can do alone — but tango-ing isn’t one of them. The catchy phrase quickly escaped the song and became a everyday way of saying that two people are needed, and two people are to blame.
Examples in a Sentence
- “Don’t just blame her for the argument — it takes two to tango.”
- “The deal fell apart because of both sides; it takes two to tango.”
- “You can’t say he ruined the friendship on his own. It takes two to tango.”
Similar Proverbs
- It takes two to make a quarrel — an older saying with the same meaning about shared blame.
- There are two sides to every story — both parties have their part and their viewpoint.
- Two wrongs don’t make a right — when both share blame, retaliation only worsens things.
- One hand cannot clap — an Eastern proverb: a conflict needs two.
For more sayings about relationships and responsibility, see our relationship sayings and the full library of proverbs and their meanings.
Frequently Asked Questions
What does “it takes two to tango” mean?
It means some situations require two willing participants, and both share the responsibility — so a conflict or problem cannot be blamed on just one person.
Where does the proverb come from?
It comes from the 1952 song “Takes Two to Tango” by Al Hoffman and Dick Manning, popularised by Pearl Bailey, which noted that tango-ing is one thing you can’t do alone.
What is a similar proverb?
“It takes two to make a quarrel” is the older equivalent, and “there are two sides to every story” makes a related point about shared responsibility.